Thoughts & Guidance

Honoring Bentley: The Wise, Old Soul Who Brought Families Peace

Fri, 29 May 2026 15:40:36 GMT

There are some souls who walk into a room and instantly bring peace.

Bentley was one of them.

For four years, families visiting Krill Funeral Service were often greeted not only by funeral directors and staff, but by a calm Goldendoodle with soulful eyes, impossibly long lashes, and a quiet way of making people feel safe. Whether he was resting beside someone during a visitation, leaning gently into a grieving child for comfort, or simply sitting nearby in silence, Bentley had an extraordinary ability to sense what people needed without a single word being spoken.

On May 20, 2026, following an unexpected cancer diagnosis, our family made the heartbreaking decision to let Bentley go peacefully.

While our hearts are shattered, we remain deeply grateful for the years we were given with him and for the comfort, joy, and peace he brought our family and to countless others throughout our community.

Born to Bring Comfort

Many knew him as one of the therapy dogs at Krill Funeral Homes. At home, however, he answered to many names: Benny, Benny-boo-boo, Bubbas, and Mumps-mumps. (“Bentley Beauregard Burr!” when he was being mischievous.)

And somehow, every single one fit him perfectly.

Born on January 20, 2020, Bentley joined the Krill family alongside his brother Oakley. In 2022, the two became certified therapy dogs, fulfilling a vision we had long held of providing dedicated grief support to families navigating loss.

From the beginning, Bentley seemed uniquely made for the role.

He carried himself with the kind of calm presence that people naturally leaned toward. There was something deeply grounding about him. Families often requested him specifically, remembering the comfort he had provided during some of the hardest days of their lives.

He loved deeply, comforted naturally, and somehow always seemed to know when someone needed him most.

More Than a Therapy Dog

Outside of the funeral home, Bentley embraced life with equal parts wisdom and goofiness.

He believed wholeheartedly that every porch was a throne, the yard was his kingdom, and every squirrel was unauthorized. He loved snow, nature, deep ear scratches, belly rubs, and pizza crusts.

He protected his brother Oakley like a big brother and served as a foil to Oakley’s spunky, energetic spirit. Bentley preferred a slower, more soulful approach to life.

People frequently described him as wise beyond his years. He was an old soul wrapped in golden fur.

The Comfort He Gave Others

One of the most beautiful things about therapy dogs is that they ask nothing from people in return. They do not need explanations for grief. They do not rush tears or try to fix pain. They simply stay close.

Bentley did that thousands of times over.

Over the past several days, we have heard story after story from families who remembered the comfort he brought them during some of the hardest moments of their lives. One family shared that during a funeral, they found themselves sitting on the floor beside Bentley and Oakley, loving on the dogs instead of feeling consumed by the grief waiting in the next room. Another remembered Bentley bringing unexpected laughter to a difficult day when he barked at a cardboard Elvis Presley display during a visitation.

Others described him as “a great asset” to their family’s healing, while many simply thanked us for sharing him with the community.

Perhaps one message captured him best:

“Bentley served so very well in his life, in a dignified, kind and compassionate manner…he was loved immensely by his family and community…it was a good life.”

It truly was.

Grief Looks Different When It’s Your Turn

One of the things grief teaches us, again and again, is that no amount of experience makes someone immune to loss.

Here at Krill, we spend so much time talking about grief support, healthy coping, emotional connection, and the importance of allowing people space to mourn honestly. We encourage families to lean on routines, memories, community, and small sources of comfort in the difficult days after a loss.

Now, we find ourselves trying to practice those same things.

We are leaning on each other. On stories. On laughter between tears. On the quiet rituals that suddenly feel sacred: seeing him greet us alongside his brother at the door, looking at photos we’ve seen a hundred times, catching ourselves expecting him to be in his favorite spot on the porch.

And, of course, we’re ensuring we’re there for Oakley.

Oakley didn’t just lose his partner in therapy work. He lost his brother who had been beside him since the very beginning. The two of them moved through life together: training together, working together, playing together, growing up together. Their bond was constant and instinctive.

Now, in many ways, we are grieving together, finding comfort in each other as we learn how to move a world without Bentley

There’s something deeply bittersweet about being comforted by the very kind of grief support Bentley helped us believe in so strongly.

Even now, he is still teaching us.

Bentley’s Legacy

Bentley’s legacy lives on in every family he comforted, every child he sat beside, and every moment he helped make feel a little less heavy.

We miss him more than words can properly express. But we also know how lucky we were to love him and how lucky we were to share him with all of you.

Thank you for loving our Benny alongside us.

He will always remain part of the heart of Krill Funeral Service.

The Quiet Weight of Grief: How Loss Affects Us in Ways We Don’t Expect

Fri, 01 May 2026 13:00:17 GMT

We often think of grief as something visible. Something tangible.

Something we can pin on tears. Isolate to the funeral. Limit to immediately after the loss happens — the early days, when everyone’s still in it with you.

But what about the weeks, months, even years after? When everyone else around you has moved on and everything looks “normal” on the outside?

That’s where grief often does its heaviest work.

The Mental and Emotional Impact of Grief

Of course grief affects how you feel, but it also affects how you think. According to the American Psychological Association , grief and prolonged stress can impact memory, focus, sleep, and emotional regulation. Changes include:

difficulty concentrating
forgetfulness or “brain fog”
feeling disconnected from others
irritability or emotional numbness

What many people describe as feeling “off” is often the mind trying to process and adapt to loss. In addition to these changes, your emotional and mental bandwidth shift. What once felt manageable can suddenly feel incredibly hard. Simple decisions become overwhelming, and conversations take more effort. Even small changes in plans can feel disproportionately stressful.

Grief lowers your capacity. When you’re already carrying something heavy, it doesn’t take much for everything to feel like too much.

For some, this experience is more intense. The National Library of Medicine estimates that about 7% of grieving individuals experience prolonged or complicated grief, where symptoms are intense and persistent enough to significantly interfere with daily life and overall well-being.

Whether short-term or long-term, grief stays with us in different ways. You may be fully functioning (working, showing up for friends and family) yet still feel slower, heavier, and disconnected.

Nothing is wrong with you. This is a normal response to loss.

Grief changes your mind as much as your heart.

The Physical Effects of Grief

After a loss, many people experience physical changes that can feel confusing if you’re not expecting them. Nebraska Medicine has documented how bereavement can impact physical health, particularly in the early months after a loss. These effects can include:

fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest
changes in appetite
nausea or gastrointestinal discomfort
headaches or body aches
disrupted sleep
getting sick more often

The rolonged stress from grief can affect immune function and increase inflammation in the body, which may make people more vulnerable to illness. Fatigue is one of the most common experiences. Grief places a continuous cognitive and emotional demand on the body, which can leave people feeling exhausted, even on days that seem “normal.”

This is why grief can feel so disorienting.

You may look fine on the outside, but your body is still carrying something heavy.

Supporting Yourself Through Grief

Making sense of what grief is doing to you is one part of the process. Figuring out how to care for yourself while it’s happening is another.

For many people, the challenge is learning how to live alongside loss. That often starts with small, intentional forms of support. A few things that can help:

Lower expectations of yourself
Your capacity may be different right now. Tasks that once felt simple may take more effort. Being kind to yourself and withholding judgment can ease some of that pressure.

Take care of your mental health
Talking to a therapist or counselor can help, especially if grief starts to feel overwhelming or persistent. Many workplaces offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) with free, short-term counseling, and some insurance plans cover mental health services. Community grief groups and sliding-scale options can also make support more accessible.

Give attention to your physical health, too
Grief affects the body as much as the mind. Rest, regular meals, and even a loose sense of routine can help support your system while it’s under strain.

Let people show up for you
Ask for help when you need it... and let people give it. That might mean sitting with someone, talking for a while, or simply not having to be alone.

Spend time with animals, if you can
There’s a reason many people find comfort in pets during difficult times. Research from the National Library of Medicine shows that time spent with animals can reduce stress hormones like cortisol, increase oxytocin (associated with bonding and comfort), and decrease feelings of anxiety and loneliness. Beyond the science, pets offer something simpler. They don’t expect explanations. They don’t need you to be okay. Their presence can be grounding in moments when words don’t come easily.

Give yourself permission to feel “off”
Grief can affect you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Feeling disconnected or unlike yourself isn’t a failure to cope, it's a natural side effect of grief.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us for grief support resources. We’re here and happy to help: (419) 636-3525

A Greener Goodbye: Earth-Friendly Options for Burial and Cremation

Wed, 22 Apr 2026 12:46:10 GMT

When we think about the impact we leave behind, we often think about the life we lived, the choices we made, and the values we carried. For those who made an effort to live more gently on the earth, that care often came from a deeper place: a love for the world around them, and a desire to leave it a little better for the generations that follow.

It’s only natural to want that same care reflected in the way they’re laid to rest.

More and more families are beginning to ask a simple question: Is there a way to say goodbye that feels a little gentler on the earth? The answer is yes but like most meaningful choices, it’s also a little more nuanced than it seems.

Embalming; Balancing Tradition and Environmental Impact ¹

One of the first decisions families often face is whether or not to embalm. Some choose to avoid embalming in hopes of reducing environmental impact. In cases where a viewing or wake is still desired, however, refrigeration is typically required. While effective and widely used, refrigeration does rely on energy systems that contribute to broader environmental concerns.

Embalming itself is often misunderstood. Modern embalming solutions are carefully regulated and highly diluted. Only a small portion of the solution contains formaldehyde, a compound that breaks down relatively quickly and does not persist in soil or groundwater. For generations, these practices have been carried out safely, with a focus on dignity, preservation, and the well-being of both families and funeral professionals.

For many, the decision ultimately comes down to what feels most important: the opportunity for a traditional viewing, personal values around environmental impact, or a balance of both.

Green Burial: A Return to Simplicity

Green burial is often the most natural option available. It focuses on simplicity, minimizing environmental impact, and allowing the body to return to nature as naturally as possible.

This typically means:

No embalming chemicals
Biodegradable caskets or burial shrouds
Burial in a natural or conservation-focused setting

Without synthetic materials or preservation methods, the body is able to return to the earth more directly. For many families, there’s comfort in that simplicity. It can feel steady and grounding, something that reflects the natural order of life and a quiet respect for the land itself.

At the same time, it’s worth understanding that even green burial exists within a broader environmental picture. Factors like soil conditions, groundwater protection, and long-term land use all play a role. In some settings, natural decomposition can raise concerns around environmental impact or site preservation over time. ¹ For families, this doesn’t diminish the meaning of the choice, it just highlights the importance of thoughtful planning and clear information.

Cremation: Thoughtful Choices Within a Common Practice

Cremation remains one of the most common end-of-life choices. While it is often perceived as a more environmentally friendly option, it does carry its own impact.

The cremation process requires a significant amount of energy and results in emissions such as carbon dioxide and other gases. That said, there are still ways to approach cremation with care and intention.

Families can consider options such as:

Biodegradable vessels made from materials like recycled paper, coconut shells, sand, or salt
Scattering gardens, which provide a peaceful and environmentally mindful way to return cremated remains to the soil
Urns made from natural materials like ceramic or wood, rather than plastics or synthetic components

Individually, these choices may seem small. Together, they reflect the same kind of consideration someone carried in life: a quiet awareness of how their presence touches the world around them.

Caskets: Choosing Materials That Reflect Your Values

Traditional caskets are often made with metals, treated woods, and synthetic finishes that aren’t designed to break down. For families seeking something more aligned with natural processes, there are alternatives that feel simpler and more organic.

Some of these include:

Solid wood without chemical treatments
Woven fiber caskets

These options reduce environmental impact while also offering something that feels warmer, less clinical, and more at home within the natural world.

Visitation: Creating a More Thoughtful Send-Off

End-of-life care isn’t limited to burial or cremation. The visitation and service itself can reflect the same sense of care and intention.

Families are increasingly choosing to:

Select locally sourced or seasonal flowers to reduce transportation impact and waste
Use digital programs or memorial pages instead of printed materials
Incorporate natural fabrics or biodegradable materials where possible
Offer simple, thoughtfully sourced refreshments with minimal packaging

None of these choices take away from the experience. If anything, they often add to it. They allow the service to feel more personal, while still honoring the traditions that help families find connection and closure.

Emerging Options: Looking Ahead

There are new options beginning to emerge that aim to reduce environmental impact even further. While not yet legal in Ohio, they are worth understanding from an educational standpoint.

Alkaline Hydrolysis (sometimes referred to as water-based cremation) uses a combination of water, temperature, and alkalinity to gently break down the body. Compared to traditional cremation, it uses less energy and does not produce the same level of airborne emissions. The process results in remains that can be returned to the family, similar to cremation. This is currently legal for pets in Ohio.

Natural Organic Reduction , also known as human composting, allows the body to naturally decompose in a carefully managed environment, transforming it into nutrient-rich soil over time. For families drawn to the idea of returning to the earth in a more direct and regenerative way, this option can feel especially meaningful.

While these methods are not currently available in every state, including Ohio, they reflect a broader shift in how we think about end-of-life care. As laws and practices continue to change, they may become more accessible in the future. For now, understanding these options can help families make more informed decisions and feel more confident in the choices that are available to them today.

A Greener Goodbye: Thoughtful, Informed Choices

There’s no single “right” way to approach end-of-life care, because no two lives look the same.

Whether that means choosing a green burial, a more traditional service, cremation with mindful options, or simply using compostable utensils during visitation, even the smallest details can reflect what matters most. Choosing greener options can be one way to carry those values forward, allowing the final arrangements to reflect not only how someone lived, but what they hoped to leave behind—a legacy rooted in care, thoughtfulness, and a desire to leave the world just a little better than we found it.

We’re here to help you explore what’s right for you. Contact us at (419) 636-3525.

Sources:
1. Golden, J. A. (n.d.). Viewpoint: Green-Earth burial funerals. American Funeral Director.

Good Friday: What It Shows Us About Grief and Love

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 13:00:28 GMT

There’s a part of every story that feels unfinished.

Not the beginning, where everything is still taking shape. Not the end, where things finally start to make sense. But the middle, the space where something has been lost and nothing has been resolved yet.

Good Friday lives in that space.

It marks a moment of profound loss, where hope feels distant, where something deeply meaningful has been taken, and where those left behind are left to sit with it. Heavy with the weight of what's happened, there's no immediate resolution and no reassurance of what comes next.

Good Friday symbolizes loss, sacrifice, and an unconditional love that didn’t turn away from suffering. It doesn’t rush to resolution or offer quick comfort. Instead, it invites us to pause and acknowledge what’s heavy, what’s real, and what hasn’t been made right yet.

And in that way, it feels familiar.

Because that sounds a lot like grief, doesn’t it?

Grief Doesn’t Follow a Timeline

In our work, we see this every day. Families navigate moments that feel uncertain and unfinished. They might recall conversations they meant to have, discussions that were left unsettled, or memories they didn’t get to make. They go through the days feeling like something is missing, or worse, unresolved.

Everything feels paused. The story has not yet ended, and those living it don’t yet know how it will unfold.

The hardest parts of grief often feel grounded in uncertainty. Asking us to slow and down and sit with it, grief wants us to face what’s in front of us, even it’s uncomfortable. To allow space for quiet, for reflection, and for emotions that don’t have easy explanations.

Grief asks us to be okay with not knowing how the rest of the story will unfold.

Grief Is Not Something to Fix

When faced with something painful, it’s natural to want to make it better. We look for the right words, the right perspective, or something that might ease the weight of what we’re feeling. This instinct comes from a place of care, but grief doesn't respond to solutions in the way we often hope it will.

Grief isn't something that can be fixed or resolved through explanation. It’s not a problem to solve, but instead, it’s an experience to move through. In times of grief, we might think what we need most is guidance or answers — but it’s actually presence. The quiet companionship of someone willing to sit beside us; the reassurance that we don't need to have everything figured out; and the space to feel what we feel without being rushed or redirected.

Good Friday reflects that same kind of presence. It doesn’t attempt to move quickly beyond the pain it represents. It doesn’t skip ahead to the “good part.” Holding the moment fully, it allows space for loss to be acknowledged honestly and without interruption.

There is something meaningful in that. A reminder that presence, even in silence, can be more powerful than any attempt to fix what can't be fixed.

What Good Friday Teaches Us About Grief

At its core, Good Friday offers something quiet but deeply important: permission.

Permission to feel what you feel, without needing to explain it.

Permission to take your time, without needing to move forward before you’re ready.

Permission to recognize that the depth of your grief reflects the depth of your love.

Good Friday tells a story of love that remained present even in suffering. A love that didn’t turn away, even when faced with loss. That same truth carries into our own lives. When we grieve, we're responding to connection, to care, to a relationship that mattered deeply. Grief exists because love exists. The depth of one reflects the depth of the other.

There Is Meaning, Even in the Middle

Even in the hardest parts of the story, there's meaning.

Good Friday doesn't offer immediate resolution or easy comfort. It doesn't attempt to tie the story together before its time. Instead, it allows the moment to exist as it is: heavy, unresolved, and deeply human.

It reminds us that not every moment is meant to be resolved. Some are meant to be lived through, slowly and honestly, even if it hurts.

Holding Space for What Is

If today feels heavy for you, for any reason, there's space for that.

You don’t have to rush past it.
You don’t have to have the right words.
You don’t have to make sense of it yet.

You can simply sit in it.

In our work, we’re honored to sit with families in these same moments every day, offering space, presence, and care when it’s needed most.

Wishing you a meaningful Good Friday.

The Funeral Director Who Helped People Escape Slavery

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 15:40:03 GMT

The remarkable true story of Henrietta Duterte, one of the first women funeral directors in America.

The year is 1852.

A woman stands in the doorway of a funeral parlor in Philadelphia, the weight of fresh grief still heavy on her shoulders. Her husband has died unexpectedly, leaving behind a business that few people would imagine a woman running, let alone a Black woman.

But Henrietta Duterte steps inside anyway.

From Widow to Funeral Director

She learns the work, and the work is demanding. In the era before modern embalming techniques, funerals had to be arranged quickly and carefully. Funeral directors were responsible for transportation, preparation, and coordinating services with families and churches. Day after day, she prepared the deceased, comforted grieving families, and quietly built a reputation for dignity and care. Families trusted her and the community knew her name. The business began to grow.

Under Henrietta’s leadership, the funeral home became known for its reliable and efficient service. Historical accounts estimate the business brought in around $8,000 a year at the time, roughly the equivalent of about $338,000 today.

Henrietta Duterte became one of the earliest known American women to work as a mortician and funeral director.

But her work didn't end when the day was over.

A Secret Role in the Underground Railroad

Philadelphia was a critical hub in the Underground Railroad , the secret network that helped enslaved people escape from the South and travel north toward freedom.

Henrietta Duterte was part of that network.

Her funeral business gave her something invaluable: the ability to move people quietly through the city without drawing attention.

Historical accounts describe how she sometimes helped fugitives by hiding them in coffins or disguising them as part of funeral processions. A carriage carrying a casket was unlikely to be questioned. A funeral procession was rarely interrupted.

The same rituals meant to honor the dead occasionally became a door to a new life for the living.

A Life of Community Leadership

Henrietta's service to her community didn't stop there.

The funeral home allowed her to support institutions that were vital to Philadelphia’s Black community. She contributed to Mother Bethel AME Church, helped support the Home for Aged and Infirm Colored Persons, and gave to organizations assisting formerly enslaved people rebuilding their lives after the Civil War.

In a time when opportunities were limited and discrimination was widespread, Henrietta used her position to strengthen the community around her.

A Legacy Worth Remembering

At its heart, funeral service is about showing up for people when they need it most. It's profession heavily centered on care, dignity, and service to others, often during life’s most difficult moments. Henrietta Duterte embodied that spirit in extraordinary ways.

She ran a successful funeral home when few women did; she supported her community when resources were scarce; and she quietly used her business to help people find freedom.

It might sound like the premise of a historical novel, but it’s not fiction.

It’s the true story of a funeral director who used her work not only to honor lives but to help save them.

Happy Women's History Month!

Key Sources on Henrietta Duterte

1. Philadelphia Area Consortium of Special Collections Libraries (PACSCL)
Provides historical information about her funeral business and family records.
https://pacscl.org/

2. Amsterdam News – “Henrietta Duterte: abolitionist and first woman owner of a funeral home”
Article summarizing her role in the Underground Railroad and funeral profession.
https://amsterdamnews.com/news/2020/04/23/henrietta-duterte-abolitionist-and-first-woman-own/

3. Mother Bethel AME Church historical records
Documents her involvement with the church and Black community institutions in Philadelphia.
https://motherbethel.org/

4. National Museum of African American History & Culture (Underground Railroad context)
Background on the Underground Railroad networks operating in cities like Philadelphia.
https://nmaahc.si.edu/explore/stories/underground-railroad

5. Encyclopedia of Greater Philadelphia – Underground Railroad in Philadelphia
Provides scholarly context about how Philadelphia functioned as a hub for freedom seekers.
https://philadelphiaencyclopedia.org/essays/underground-railroad/

Presidents' Day and the Intentional Legacy

Sun, 01 Mar 2026 05:15:59 GMT

Presidents’ Day invites us to reflect on leadership, history, and national legacy. But beyond the long weekend and the history lessons, it also raises a quieter question: How do we choose to be remembered?

When we think of presidential remembrance, we think of grandeur and granite: The towering seated statue of Abraham Lincoln; the carved visages of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln at Mount Rushmore; the preserved home of George Washington in Mount Vernon; the Harry S. Truman Library marking his burial site in Independence, Missouri; the eternal flame that burns at the gravesite of John F. Kennedy in Arlington National Cemetery.

And of course, the memorials we see daily on our currency, stamps, highways, and scholarships (and much more!)

These memorials did not happen by accident. They were designed, funded, debated, and carefully constructed. Committees decided how these individual's lives were archived and foundations determined how their stories were told. Their memorials reflect intentional decisions about how someone, big in life, can be memorialized in an equally big way in death. That kind of legacy feels monumental.

But for most of us, legacy is far more personal and way less public. Yes, your legacy. Believe it or not, legacy isn't just for the prolific. (You certainly don't have to be President of the United States to leave one!)

Our legacies are determined, not through committees and foundations, but through our personal estate plans. Often framed as financial paperwork — wills, trusts, beneficiary forms, powers of attorney — estate plans are also personal. They're not just about money; they're about memory. They can include:

A written wish that a tree be planted in your honor.
A note about the family recipes you hope will be passed down.
Guidance on which personal items should go to whom and why.
A letter explaining the meaning behind a tradition.
Directions for how you’d like a life to be remembered — formal, simple, celebratory, quiet.

These things may not be financial, but they are valuable. When those decisions are left unspoken, families are often left to interpret, negotiate, and sometimes argue during moments of grief. When they are addressed thoughtfully and in advance, clarity replaces guesswork.

We may never have statues or libraries built in our honor, but we can choose how our legacy lives on. It may live in a recipe card written in familiar handwriting or in a quilt stitched from old shirts. It's rooted in the tree planted in the backyard or strung throughout a playlist of songs that instantly transport someone back in time. Sometimes, it even lives in stories; the ones repeated around the dinner table at a holiday gathering.

Presidents’ Day reminds us that legacy takes many forms. Some legacies are carved into mountains. Others are folded into everyday life. Intentional legacy asks us to consider both the tangible and the intangible parts of a life... and decide how we want that life to be remembered.

To learn more about pre-planning — including how it works alongside estate planning — we’re always available to talk. Contact us at (419) 636-3525 .